“How are you?” Is a question asked trillions of times a day, one that has absolutely nothing to do with the activities of our daily lives. In it’s literal meaning, it’s intention is to find out how the person really is, how they are doing as a person. How many times though have you (I include myself in this entirely) answered with “oh god I’m so busy”. But busy isn’t how someone is doing as a person it’s what they’re doing.. and not too effectively so.
Almost to the point of breaking out in a rash, I find myself quite allergic to the culture that celebrates busyness or hustle. Western society is fast paced by nature, that I get. Yet at a very deep level in recent decades we’ve been seduced by the association of success along with a sense of deep self worth in how “run off our feet” or how hard we work. What is that though? What does busy even mean? Is it actually a badge of honor? I think not. It reminds me of the toxicity of the hustle culture, of how it used to be silently admired to sleep as little as possible. Just look up the #5amclub on Instagram + there is an endless ‘club’ of early risers under pressure to do it all before 9am. As an early riser myself, I love my mornings too + I definitely sometimes fall for the thinking that I must achieve a certain amount before a certain time in the day but why on earth do we believe that unless we’ve written a book, cleaned the house, walked the dog, exercised AND prepped dinner for tonight (and Jesus, this is just me as someone who doesn’t even have kids so kudos to all the Mums reading this) all before others are waking then, well, what are we doing with our lives? Come on people, chop chop! And perhaps this is all just me but it seems that unless we are busy achieving or doing something - most times, just anything, regardless of how productive it may be - we fear it might equate us with the failure linked to the dreaded idea of laziness or not being triumphant on the road to greatness. Dramatic no?! And man is it tiring.
In thinking about this deeper a lot overt the past number of years, I realise busyness for me is often more about being occupied rather than, despite it’s mask of deep deception, actually getting things accomplished. It’s a lack of self-care or prioritisation of what is actually your priority + instead simple an act in itself of nothingness. Within it, I know too there’s a whole rabbit hole on a lack of boundaries which .. well for me, is definitely one of the many work-in-progress things I’m personally working on. I notice in myself though, it’s many times simply a deterrent from what I’m meant to be doing or what direction I genuinely want to be taking or the things I wish to be implementing into my life. It’s a type of procrastination. And perhaps a distraction for some of us? When I used to really believe in the idea that I should be busy all the time without really knowing why other than it seemed to be what society valued, it was me running around more than anything. Filling my time with things that must get done + letting anyone take up my valuable time because god forbid, desire how busy I was no way could I ever say no to anyone. Very conceivably too I can see it was me running away from me. But that’s a whole other article. Finding a sense of identification in the busyness is unhealthy + causes a loss of that very important connection to self that a solid, happy + successful life requires. Furthermore, I’ve found myself really finding more meaning in my days + the work I do since developing my allergy to busy; in reality, the way in which I consciously choose to spend my time, not to mention the boundaries I put in place to allow for that really put a lot into perspective of what’s important. It’s about time management in a very structural way + for most of us, the idea of work these days isn’t as linear as it once was, especially, if like me, you’re a Millennial who works for yourself or that WFH life is the new normal. You get to choose. And thankfully, time now holds more personal value these days, something I’m very much here for. I’m aware this isn’t the case for everyone but at some level we can, or at the least seek to, structure our work around our life instead of the other way around. Let the hassle of the hustle go. Let’s value efficiency over busy - like what we can actually achieve when focused within a concentrated time? Let’s value the quality of the work we do rather than the perceived time we’re stuck grinding through what needs to get done. And dare I say it, let’s value the idea of LIVING for ourselves, for what we want to do + who we want to be rather than allowing our time or lives be dictated by + dedicated to others all the time.
Let’s be real too, nobody is ever going to say on their deathbed, wow what a life, I wish I had been at my laptop more or jeez, I really should have spent more time working - it will always be about the quality of how we decided to spend our time in this life, the people we loved + the memories created within it all, the places we were lucky to experience, the connections we felt + the moments of calm that brought us deeper levels of meaning + perhaps, the mots important thing of all will be the in we hopefully made those we met feel good about themselves.
Stop glorifying the struggle. Seek to manage your time more efficiently. Get productive with a focus. Busy isn’t a thing to establish your place or your worth in this world upon. You are worthy simply because you breathe. That is all it requires. And with that, I will leave it there. Something to think about + perhaps something, I hope, to remind you that what we pack our days with, how we spend the moments, is literally what makes up a life.
