Creativity or Control? It’s Up To Us..

Recently we spent time with beautiful friends in Connecticut where we visited Grace Farms, an incredible sanctuary focusing on the principles of faith, nature, art, community + justice. The River Building, designed by Sanaa Architects weaves its way through the landscape like with a respect that bows ever so eloquently to the beauty of its surroundings. Experiencing such beauty amid the merging of two strongly existing worlds, that which is man made + all that is so much bigger than anything we could ever create, I couldn't help but come back to the idea of truthful creativity + what it means to me amid a world controlled so deeply by algorithmic commands.

Slower story telling where untreated vulnerability, messy kinds of beautiful along with the raw + exposing emotion of the creator is something I just love as a human; it’s something I can’t help but forever feel drawn back to as though a magnetic force is pulling me home. Expression where an over arching tale is portrayed through reflective narratives in the written word along with slower style aesthetics is something I feel protective of, especially now in this algorithmic world.

As someone who innately loves to create beautiful things + can’t help but understand the world around me + life in general through the detailed + potential beauty in the tiniest of places, the idea of algorithmic pressure is something I just can’t vibe to. I’ve been considering it more + more of late. The truth is, the way the algorithm works simply doesn’t allow for or encourage truthful storytelling but rather a specifically altered rendering of any such narrative so as to ensure the reward of further growth or recognition externally. The growth born of pleasing the algorithm is ultimately determined by this crazy (like it’s bizarrely controlling when you think about it) authoritative ‘thing’ that’s now so much bigger than us all; something I see as an aggressive discouragement of the beauty of creative processes. And while I really do get it, as certain parts of my own work very much plays into it’s now firm place in the world + actually relies on it’s power, it’s just such a sad reality that threads itself through absolutely everything now. Yet with a deep love of creativity, I seek to stop myself bowing to it’s being, for as I’ve found myself in so much self-doubt these past few years within my own creativity, always questioning myself + double checking as to whether I should share, what I should share, how, what time.. should I even share.., the self-doubt can be utterly crippling. I no longer want to feel paralysed by that incapacitating reality that the algorithm has been in some way subconsciously been controlling my creative flow. And so I stop myself. For real this time. Because the reality is, it’s here, existing with a very firm presence in our everyday world now. And it will continue to reward those who satisfy its demands; demands that, once fed + nurtured, grants itself even more control over us as individuals. Yet, in true me style, I just can’t help but question, what the actual F was I thinking letting that fear stop me from creatively expressing myself, unencumbered + with the self authority I hold in so many other parts of my being.

Creating to me is about the process not how fast it will be consumed or how many times it will be viewed. We are all creative beings, each of us communicating in various ways every single day; it’s the simple idea of bringing something into existence that wasn’t previously there. That is creation. And while I’m in no way saying that dancing on TikTok isn’t creative, as it very much is, it’s the idea that what we create + how we share it is now so strongly, however subconsciously, dictated by the algorithm + how it’s established a new ‘normal’ of the human attention span in recent years. Continuing to create to it’s demands means we are fundamentally + forever changing our natural ways of expression. What becomes of that? Something that’s yours though, shared because it brought YOU joy or simply shared because it’s the only way you know how to express yourself - the only way to connect to the world is perhaps what we could come back to again? What if we just created + shared what made us happy again? What if we respected the time it requires to read something in long format? (Like heyyyy if you’ve taken the time to click through to this page + made it through to the end of this article). What if we held ourselves accountable to retain the attention required to soak up something beautiful, whatever it’s format, even if it is past the 8.25 seconds that the algorithm has now deemed our capacity for conscious observation.

I love seeing people create beauty - whatever the form. But the truth is I’m not so much a TikTok chick. I just can’t vibe to the continued fast paced scrolling it encourages, regardless of the reverberating sound of people repeating “it’s where the growth is”. But is it where the actual attention or long term work is that translates into a sale or a lifelong customer, reader, community member? I love what now seems like an old world approach to creation : beautiful imagery + shorter video, brought to life + supported by words that mean something to me. Maybe I’m showing my age but I can’t buy into the fast paced world of the more, more, more; the pressure that threads itself through every aspect of how we live now - be that for brand, content creators or just simply humans For a long time it’s felt so confusing, I’ve felt like I don’t fit into the world of content creators as they grow from strength to strength within a world I know can often feel like a massive pressure.

But imagine if we created not for the reception it may receive or in order to place it within the workings of the authority the algorithm now commands but for what lights us up from the inside out? Imagine the world we might leave behind? I’m continuously exploring this as an individual + I hope that in reading this, we might do so together.

Visit —— GRACE FARMS

Positive Productivity or Toxic Busyness?

“How are you?” Is a question asked trillions of times a day, one that has absolutely nothing to do with the activities of our daily lives. In it’s literal meaning, it’s intention is to find out how the person really is, how they are doing as a person. How many times though have you (I include myself in this entirely) answered with “oh god I’m so busy”. But busy isn’t how someone is doing as a person it’s what they’re doing.. and not too effectively so.

Almost to the point of breaking out in a rash, I find myself quite allergic to the culture that celebrates busyness or hustle. Western society is fast paced by nature, that I get. Yet at a very deep level in recent decades we’ve been seduced by the association of success along with a sense of deep self worth in how “run off our feet” or how hard we work. What is that though? What does busy even mean? Is it actually a badge of honor? I think not. It reminds me of the toxicity of the hustle culture, of how it used to be silently admired to sleep as little as possible. Just look up the #5amclub on Instagram + there is an endless ‘club’ of early risers under pressure to do it all before 9am. As an early riser myself, I love my mornings too + I definitely sometimes fall for the thinking that I must achieve a certain amount before a certain time in the day but why on earth do we believe that unless we’ve written a book, cleaned the house, walked the dog, exercised AND prepped dinner for tonight (and Jesus, this is just me as someone who doesn’t even have kids so kudos to all the Mums reading this) all before others are waking then, well, what are we doing with our lives? Come on people, chop chop! And perhaps this is all just me but it seems that unless we are busy achieving or doing something - most times, just anything, regardless of how productive it may be - we fear it might equate us with the failure linked to the dreaded idea of laziness or not being triumphant on the road to greatness. Dramatic no?! And man is it tiring.

In thinking about this deeper a lot overt the past number of years, I realise busyness for me is often more about being occupied rather than, despite it’s mask of deep deception, actually getting things accomplished. It’s a lack of self-care or prioritisation of what is actually your priority + instead simple an act in itself of nothingness. Within it, I know too there’s a whole rabbit hole on a lack of boundaries which .. well for me, is definitely one of the many work-in-progress things I’m personally working on. I notice in myself though, it’s many times simply a deterrent from what I’m meant to be doing or what direction I genuinely want to be taking or the things I wish to be implementing into my life. It’s a type of procrastination. And perhaps a distraction for some of us? When I used to really believe in the idea that I should be busy all the time without really knowing why other than it seemed to be what society valued, it was me running around more than anything. Filling my time with things that must get done + letting anyone take up my valuable time because god forbid, desire how busy I was no way could I ever say no to anyone. Very conceivably too I can see it was me running away from me. But that’s a whole other article. Finding a sense of identification in the busyness is unhealthy + causes a loss of that very important connection to self that a solid, happy + successful life requires. Furthermore, I’ve found myself really finding more meaning in my days + the work I do since developing my allergy to busy; in reality, the way in which I consciously choose to spend my time, not to mention the boundaries I put in place to allow for that really put a lot into perspective of what’s important. It’s about time management in a very structural way + for most of us, the idea of work these days isn’t as linear as it once was, especially, if like me, you’re a Millennial who works for yourself or that WFH life is the new normal. You get to choose. And thankfully, time now holds more personal value these days, something I’m very much here for. I’m aware this isn’t the case for everyone but at some level we can, or at the least seek to, structure our work around our life instead of the other way around. Let the hassle of the hustle go. Let’s value efficiency over busy - like what we can actually achieve when focused within a concentrated time? Let’s value the quality of the work we do rather than the perceived time we’re stuck grinding through what needs to get done. And dare I say it, let’s value the idea of LIVING for ourselves, for what we want to do + who we want to be rather than allowing our time or lives be dictated by + dedicated to others all the time.

Let’s be real too, nobody is ever going to say on their deathbed, wow what a life, I wish I had been at my laptop more or jeez, I really should have spent more time working - it will always be about the quality of how we decided to spend our time in this life, the people we loved + the memories created within it all, the places we were lucky to experience, the connections we felt + the moments of calm that brought us deeper levels of meaning + perhaps, the mots important thing of all will be the in we hopefully made those we met feel good about themselves.

Stop glorifying the struggle. Seek to manage your time more efficiently. Get productive with a focus. Busy isn’t a thing to establish your place or your worth in this world upon. You are worthy simply because you breathe. That is all it requires. And with that, I will leave it there. Something to think about + perhaps something, I hope, to remind you that what we pack our days with, how we spend the moments, is literally what makes up a life.

Wellness Books To Note // Part I

There is no one big answer in or to anything in this life. Having said that, there are undoubtedly lots of little lessons along the way that shine a light on deeper meaning to or a wider perspective on certain parts of life + our place within in. As a person, I’ve always been drawn to understanding things on a deeper level + as part of that personal exploration I’ve found certain self-development books to be hugely beneficial. I’ve found part of myself in + elements of the person I have become are, in part, thanks to the lessons such books have afforded me; some truly have really been a huge part of my journey thus far or in a moment, have helped me go deeper, whether I realized it at the time or only really grasped the depth of the books effect on my journey till later.

Acting as some classification of therapy for many, books that seek to teach at a personal level can contribute hugely to our healing processes + lend themselves as a unique perspective in the techniques we incorporate into our daily lives, ultimately enriching our experiences + very souls. As part of a longer list that I will continue to share, here are some of those books worth their weight in gold:

A T O M I C H A B I T S

I read this book last January (2021) + loved it so much that I re-read it again at the beginning of the year. Atomic Habits is one of those books that speaks to the practical side of bettering our processes some can live the life we actually want. James Clear is an inspirational, honest + genius writer, piecing together a hands-on guide to understanding the science + meaning in routine + how to actually weave new habits into your life with lasting effects. It helped me greatly in creating a better mentality around habits + the idea that habits are simply choices repeated again + again. This is one that I will most likely re-read every year of my life..

Find out more // J A M E S C L E A R

T H E U N T E T H E R E D S O U L

This classic read delves into the truth of who we really are at a soul level + the possibility of what it is to live beyond the limitations of our conscious mind, the part of ourselves that can all too often hold us back from who we really are. It opens us to the potential of what life can be when we break through any + all boundaries we previously thought to be true while the author, Michael A. Singer breaks it down in manageable pieces so you can begin to discover more inner peace day by day.

This is one that, to grasp on a deeper level, I find I must read again + again. I have heard different things from it at various times + also have been able to receive distinctly transformational lessons each time I’ve opened this book.

Find out more // T H E U N T E T H E R E D S O U L

T H E L A S T L E C T U R E

One of those books that has you smiling + crying in the same moment, The Last Lecture by Professor Randy Pausch is a must read for every human. Pausch wasn’t just imagining his last lecture when he wrote this moving + inspirational book, he was living it out as his own reality due to his recent diagnosis of terminal cancer. IN delivering his last lecture, entitled ‘Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams’, he imparts his wisdom around about the importance of conquering life’s challenges, facilitating the dreams of others + of making the very most of each moment we have - as he had eventually found out, we sometimes may just have a limited amount left to make anything of. This book is one to be read throughout the ages no matter your age + one that brings depth to what’s most important + a lightness to what can feel all too overwhelming sometimes. This book is a beautiful rendition of what it’s like to live.

Find out more // T H E L A S T L E C T U R E

T H E B O D Y K E E P S T H E S C O R E

Intense. Like really intense. Very real. Incredibly insightful. And remarkably beneficial in it’s approach to + treatment of trauma, The Body Keeps the Score is celebrated the world over for it’s holistic perspective on the stress trauma causes on the body + how, in real everyday ways we can shift away from it + cultivate a new power within to heal + deal with the parts that often lay stuck in our bodies from what has happened. In his widely acclaimed work, Dr Bessel van der Kolk goes beyond the traditional therapies of medication + talking that haven’t always proven entirely instrumental in healing or allowing one go beyond what haunts them - this book is a gift to yourself if you’ve found that no matter how much ‘work’ you’ve done on what happened, you still find the struggle real. It’s like a bible to understanding your stress responses in more depth + how you can bring compassion + action to the healing process.

Find out more // T H E B O D Y K E E P S T H E S C O R E

T H E W I M H O F M E T H O D

I am a huge believer in cold therapy. A few years back my brother’s girlfriend (who is one of my best friends) + I started sea swimming. Thinking we were entirely mad, like full-on cray-cray, we would get up early to met before the day began + get our fix of the freezing cold winter sea. Each day we did it, as we lowered ourselves into the water I’d think we must be f*cking crazy, this is TORTURE. However, each time we got out I’d think, wow I can’t wait to do this again tomorrow, that was AMAZING. One of the most unexplainable feelings, bodies of cold water can literally change your life. Wanting to understand more I delved into the world of Wim Hof + his method of breath-work + cold therapy. I haven’t been able to do sea swims of late, however, I’ve continued the work in as much as possible as it’s SO effective in helping with anxiety, depression, low moods + generally my mental health. Wim Hof is a pioneer in the area + sharing his work with the world he is helping people help themselves with amazing, effective + free techniques that truly are transforming. I highly recommend his work, any podcasts/interviews with him +ultimately this book as a great gateway into his world.

Find out more // W I M H O F M E T H O D