I’m not usually one to share in such a personal manner here on Haute So Fabulous. However, today I welcome you into a very imperfect + previously super private part of my life that I’m tired of holding shame around. Shame that has me fearing you might think less of me were you to know how severely “anxiety” + “low moods” have played such debilitating roles in my life.. long before the lockdown reality of 2020. However as I get older, settling into the woman I am + seek to become, I begin to let go of that crippling shame + embarrassment that have only served to weigh me down even further in my experience. I’m here to be real.
“Anxiety” is such a buzz word but for those who know it’s wrath, you know there is no “buzz” + the “band wagon” isn’t exactly the party bus of the century. It’s crippling. It can consume your every waking moment + some nights the precious hope you hold in the possible escape of sleep. These experiences don’t match the fun or fabulous (‘grammable) part of me but, equally, they have played their roles in allowing me grow + evolve into the woman I am today + for that I am grateful.
In finding space to be my entire self in this world + not just the Instagramable elements of an existence, this post is from my heart, in the hope of letting you know that if you find yourself in that dark place too.. PLEASE remember you are not alone, we’re all human + trust me, we really are all just trying to figure it out. Some days are wonderful + even the smallest things like the smell of a fresh coffee can feel exhilarating + even just the noticing of it can be something to be grateful for; those days where you see the light + step into the trust that maybe, just maaaaaybe, it really all is ok. And then there are the days when you can’t even find the energy to look for the switch to turn the light on, despite everyone telling you it’s right there.
Despite my search for it, perfect isn’t a thing. It’s something, in this highly curated world we now live in, that we continuously seek to obtain + ultimately beat ourselves up for in failing to find. We constantly set ourselves up for failure in the search. What if though.. it’s ok to be the real you.. the one you’re figuring out along the way + haven’t yet fully come to know or accept or trust or love. That person who doesn’t just “wake up like this”. On that note of "I woke up like this” - let me remind you, Beyonce has every means to create her life so that she can spend her time exactly where she wishes. Not to belittle her as she’s one of the most incredible, badass women in the world but let’s face it, she isn’t thinking about the trillion errands that need to be completed while also making healthy dinners for her family + actively seeing to every detail of her career. She’s a powerhouse + I love her but we must remember that the cultured thinking of “I woke up like this” isn’t real in the every day life of ANYone.. not even Beyonce.
Refusing to imply or fall for the often marketed message that there’s a magical wand for this stuff, I am constantly seeking NATURAL solutions to this part of me. For what it’s worth, here are some of the things that play such integral parts in creating some inner zen. Health is a collection of choices + actions taken daily + not something to seek overall solutions in any one thing.
What drew me to post all of this was that I’m new to the world of CBD + have been using KLORIS CBD for several months now + although it’s not changed my life entirely, as I don’t believe any one product can alone or should ever promise you, it’s been something I’ve come to appreciate as an important part of calming my anxiety + offsetting the real threat of panic attacks which had become such an issue for me. I was so adverse to trying it as I’m so clean when it come sot anything around ‘drugs’ (I’ve literally never even smoked a joint) but am so so glad I finally did + started here with KLORIS. I highly recommend this brand if you’re new to it all too. You can find them at K L O R I S C B D . C O M
Another things I have to remember is the power of communication. Communicating with loved ones + trying to call it before it gets too overwhelming is beginning to be a real tool for me; something that's a complete work in progress as I hate burdening anyone with my stuff.
Having Supernova WOMAN 01 in my morning smoothie or by itself with water.. EVERY SINGLE DAY without fail! This has truly been a corner stone of my overall health the past 18 months. Read more about my S U P E R N O V A L I V I N G love here..
Chats with + staying inspired by Roxie Nafousi - the ultimate manifesting goddess. I listen to her affirmations + meditations on my morning walks for coffee, alongside attending her online webinars, she has one coming up on Self Love on August 16th. Book your spot at R O X I E N A F O U S I . C O M
Remaining consistent with daily practices + committing to non-negotiable morning + nighttime routines of self care. Doing something once doesn’t cut he cloth + certainly, in my experience of years of trying things once + then deeming them unsuccessful, consistency with anything is what creates an outcome. Wish I’d learned this one sooner but here we are.
Getting outside in nature. Again every damn day. Come hail, rain or shine. I work for myself + some days it’s just calls or Zooms with clients + not face-to-face so it’s imperative that I get out every day.
Exercising daily. It’s simply another non-negotiable for me. Lately I’ve been LOVING M/Body, Melissa Wood Health + Yin Yoga with Phoebe Greenacre. You can see my at home workout list here..
Dipping into the escape of another’s story + the magic of a good book. Watching good movies. You can always find my lists here on the website.. I’m obsessed with sharing movies + books. In fact, here are some links // MOVIES // DOCUMENTARIES // BOOKS
This feels so incredibly exposing to leave these words here; I’m not sharing it to be self-indulgent or to seek validation. It’s simply that I find great strength in reading about other strong women who somehow remain resilient through the lessons life throws their way + wanted to hopefully be some sort of light for even one other human being out there. Remember health is a collection of choices + actions taken daily + not something to seek overall solutions to in any one thing.
